2013 Goals

After looking back at last years goals, I realized that they can be grouped into a three categories: creativity, productivity and health. In 2013, I've limited it to two: Leading a healthy and creative life.

1. Live a healthy life.
Last year, I focused on weight, as if health was only related to an arbitrary number on a scale. This year I'm focused on holistic healthy living. This means healthy eating, being active and working out, taking time to relax and enjoy life, and yes - still trying to kick the snooze button habit for more productive sleep.

2. Live a creative life.
This was a theme that was prevalent in last year's goals as well. I want to read more, sketch more, craft more, cook more and keep myself inspired personally so that can translate that creativity and inspiration into my professional life.

I can't really measure these lofty ideals, so I'll just have to be honest with myself if I'm truly living more healthfully and creatively.  That being said, I'm very excited to see what 2013 brings.

Happy New Year! What are your goals/resolutions?

2012 Goals review

As I prepare for the new year, I looked back at my 2012 goals. Mid-way through the year, I updated my goals and knew I bit off more than I could chew in the beginning.

I did accomplish my major goal of completing my thesis and graduating. But I seriously failed in most of the other categories and may even be worse off then I was at the beginning of the year. Here's a quick recap:

1. Lose 25 pounds. Well... in the spring I was doing well, but then fall and winter came and thesis deadlines loomed and I started this fast food kick and my heavy winter coat showed up again. So, I'll definitely be keeping this one for 2013.

2. 6 Blog posts per month. Definite fail.

3. Read at least 1 book per month. Actually, I think I may have come close to completing this with audio books and grad school books. I'm counting it as a win!

4. Break snooze button habit. Another definite fail.

5. Weekly sketches. Again, I think I sketched more than usual this year (sitting in a psychology seminar). I'm counting it as completed!

6. One craft/art project per month. I think I could say I did this about half the time. So I'll give myself half credit.

7. Finish thesis & graduate! Major success here. I should count it as double points!

So I accomplished right at half my goals. Which isn't nearly as terrible as I had anticipated. I'm thinking through my goals for 2013 now. Hopefully I'll have a better success rate next year!

Pondering: Yoga

Yesterday I possibly had my best yoga class ever. I was able to get into shoulder stand and head stand multiple times... well... I at least got my feet off the floor/knees off the elbows multiple times and hung out in mid-air momentarily in both poses. I've always been scared to let myself go farther than firmly planted on the ground and I am finally able to trust my own strength.

Yoga has done wonders for me. Just a couple years ago I remember a co-worker boasting about the benefits yoga and how they had affected his life and I balked at the thought. At the time I thought I was way too Type-A to get any benefit from something like yoga. Boy, was I wrong.

Yoga has given me strength mentally, spiritually, and physically way beyond my expectations. Every class I feel more focused, more mindful, happier and stronger. I cannot express enough how grateful I am for the practice. I'm in a really great place in my life right now and I trace much of that back to yoga. So, lesson of the year: Don't knock it 'til you try it.

overwhelmed.

One of the things I love the most about the blog world is how open it can be. Most of the blogs I follow are written by women and I love it when they share personal stories. Personal triumphs and also when they're struggling... not because I like to hear that others are going through tough times, but because it makes these fabulous women seem more human. More relatable. Their bravery for sharing their fears and failures make the biggest impact on me.

Well, if you couldn't have guessed, I am overwhelmed with the world right now. Overwhelmed with work. Overwhelmed with e-mail. Overwhelmed with side projects. Overwhelmed with my personal constrictions on maintaining my fitness and nutritional goals. Overwhelmed with classwork (and I'm not even taking summer classes!). Just plain overwhelmed.

These are all things that I've taken on myself, mandated of myself. (It also didn't help that my hard drive crashed this past Saturday, putting me out of commission for a day until I got everything re-installed. Thankfully, I had backed up in the morning. For the first time in 6 months or so none the less. Bullet dodged.) Anyway, why do I do this? As I talk with my other girlfriends (not necessarily in the blog world), many of them feel the same way. They take on too much as well and then get overwhelmed. Is this a woman thing or are guys just better at handling stress... or hiding it?

I appreciate the work that Jess is doing at Make Under My Life, because I can relate so much. Recently she's added new totes to her shop in partnership with illustrator Ann Shen.

Kinzie Tote Collection by Jess LC and Ann Shen 

I have several illustrated posters in my head and sketched out to sum up my feelings about being overwhelmed. But, you know, it's filed under "Someday" on the teux-deux list...

27 years wise

 Image from Potter and Butter, Cake toppers available in their Cake Pom Collection

Today, I turn the wonderful age of 27! Ever since I turned 23, I’ve kind of freaked out about turning another year older; there were just so many things in my life that were uncertain, undetermined and not as I had planned. But now, at the wise age of 27, I’m starting to see things differently. Life is always going to be uncertain, undetermined and not as planned. I’m learning to cherish that fact.

In yoga last week the teacher shared this quote:

How beautiful and true? I am so very blessed in this life. I have wonderful friends and family and spent my pre-birthday weekend cherishing time with them. I have a great job and even a successful side business that I've always dreamed of! I'm healthy and able-bodied. I have no material wants or needs in my life. I can only imagine the beauty and success that the future holds.

27 is going to be be a *beautiful year!

*I apologize for my over-use of the word beautiful, I blame my yoga teachers...

Chakra Affirmations

I had a wonderful 3-day weekend (thanks corporate-job for the free day!); I got nearly everything crossed off my to-do list, did a lot of relaxing, and got in some great workouts. Most notable, was a Friday morning yoga class at Darling Yoga. The class highlighted each chakra (Center of spiritual power in the human body, usually considered to be seven in number) through different poses and included an affirmation for each center. This was a perfect balance to my regular yoga classes, where we are in the middle of a 7-week series focusing on one specific chakra opening each week.

At first I felt a little silly saying these affirmations out loud in class, but once I accepted the practice it was extremely moving. I couldn't find the exact chakra affirmations used in my class, but here are two similar affirmations that spoke the most to me:

Red signifies the first chakra, the Root Chakra. It is a masculine energy at the base of the tailbone with the main focus of physical existence. Building and manifesting a healthy and strong physical body to maintain a creative and happy life really spoke to me as I'm in the midst of going through a lifestyle change and focusing on health. I love the belief that this focus on my health can cultivate my creativity.

Violet represents the seventh chakra, the Crown Chakra. A unified energy at the crown that represents thought and your connection to spirit and wisdom. The words "I am responsible" speak to me here. I am responsible for all of the love, joy, and happiness in my life. I am responsible for the health and focus in my life. I am responsible.

I created these images, so I can use them as affirmations in my daily life by posting them as my desktop wallpaper or on my refrigerator. I think they're great words to live by. What words or affirmations speak to you?

Affirmations adapted from Healing Journeys Energy.

Goals Update

At the end of January I posted my yearly goals. Let's check-in to see how I have/haven't progressed, shall we? As a reminder I had seven goals for the year:

Seven goals? Silly me! I recently sat through a seminar at work based on Franklin Covey research and it turns out that if I have that many goals, odds are I won't complete all of them. Kinda obvious, but it's so easy to bite off more than we can handle, right?

So it's time for a revision. I have been reading, sketching, and crafting... but I'm still having trouble with the regular blogging and snoozing. So let's throw them out the window, ok? Now, I don't think that's a great plan to just squash your dreams and goals because they're not necessarily working out, but I'm only doing that temporarily so I can focus on my two most important goals:

As far as I'm concerned I shouldn't be focusing on anything other than those two items until they are complete. So that brings us to the update:

Goal #1: Lose weight.
As of today, I'm down 10 pounds for the year. Slow and steady wins the race, right? On March 1st we started a biggest loser contest at work and holy cannoli that pushed me into high gear and got me motivated to get moving and eating better. And guess what? It's worked! In week two I was officially the biggest loser and down 4.99% body mass! I started more weight training after that and briefly jumped up in weight. Now, at 5 weeks into the competition I'm sitting in the number two spot with 5.49% body mass lost. I'm hoping to regain my lead by the end of the competition and win the fat cash prize.

Goal #2: Finish my thesis & graduate.
Well, this one has not been as successful thus far this year. In the past couple of weeks research has starting to progress and everything is starting to click a bit more. I still have a long way to go, but the important part is I'm finally able to focus a bit more each day. I think working out and eating well has helped me learn focus, funny how that works out...

Pop Talk

Today I'm featured on my friend, Dayle's blog: Made by Sodapop in her new Pop Talk section!

Not gonna lie, it kinda freaks me out seeing my face that big, but whatareyagonnado? ;)

I bonded with Dayle in our years at Hallmark, she was my cube neighbor. I'm sure that I gave her many headaches throughout the years with my stubbornness and naivety. And as she will attest, the minute she told me she was leaving I turned into an emotional sap, trying to make up for bad behavior and let her know how much I will truly miss her and how much of an impact she has had on my life. Dayle now lives in Atlanta and is spreading her amazing cheer, personality and design aesthetic through her many jobs and pass times. Luckily my brother lives in Augusta, GA and I can try to schedule flights to visit him through Atlanta so I can spend some precious hours with one of the best mentors. Love ya, Super!

2012 Goals

Ok these are a little late, but better late than never, right? Hopefully me posting my goals at the end of January isn't an indication as to how this year will go. But honestly, I have been so preoccupied I didn't give it much thought until recently.

1. Lose 25 pounds. Somewhere after RAGBRAI and being in a new relationship and being busy with grad school, working out became few and far between and I put on a much heavier "winter coat" than usual. So, it's time to shed the extra poundage. I'm hoping publicly announcing my goal will help me stick to the plan. Working out 5+ days per week and lots of vegetables, here I come!

2. 6 Blog posts per month. For some that number sounds kind of pathetic, but if you look at my most recent posting history, it will be a dramatic improvement.

3. Read at least 1 book per month. I think this is about on par with what I achieved in 2011. I've really become a fan of audiobooks (or ear-reading as my significant other calls it). My on-hold list at the library is getting a little short, any suggestions?

4. Break snooze button habit. This has seriously gotten out. of. control. I hit snooze every 10 minutes for an hour or longer every morning. I try to set my alarm for later, but I still find myself going through the constant snoozing routine and I just arrive later and later to work. I don't know how I'll break it, but I know I need to for better sleep and all-around health.

5. Weekly sketches. I'm not a natural doodler or sketcher, but I want to start doing much more. I think this will help my creativity, help me find my personal aesthetic and all sorts of wonderful things. Ideally, I'd like to go for a walk outside and sketch nature, but the current chilly weather might keep that plan on hold for a while.

6. One craft/art project per month. I used to constantly work on craft projects for my apartment but now I'm pretty well settled and haven't been doing as much hands-on creativity. I want to pick that back up in hopes that it continue to boost creativity in other areas (much like weekly sketches).

7. Finish thesis & graduate! This is a big one. Last semester I officially started my thesis-prep classes and I'll continue those throughout 2012. My goal is the graduate at the end of Fall semester this year, so I need to get into gear and keep researching, ideating, and working on my thesis. Wish me luck!

Some Perspective

I expected RAGBRAI to be this completely transformational experience. Using my yoga experience, I was expecting a challenge and ready to set intentions and use mantras to get me through the day and also have time for personal reflection and meditation... but I was wrong. It wasn't the physical demands that brought a little perspective into my life, but my teammates. Chatting with my teammates I had a sudden awareness of how moved I am by my vision and the gift of sight. Day after day my teammates would hear me babble on about how beautiful the Iowa landscape was, particularly in the morning, it was truly gorgeous in my eyes. In fact anyone that knows me, knows how passionate I am about Iowa scenery, but it doesn't stop there. Images move me more than anything other sense. I mean, a well-cooked salmon steak is pretty amazing or a tomato straight from the garden, but it doesn't move my soul like my eyesight does.

That being said, I had a fairly traumatic experience this week.

I was waking up Wednesday morning and streeeeetched (as most do) and accidentally my fingernail went right into my eye and scratched the fragile thing. It hurt a bit, but I thought it would be a quick recovery... like 10-15 minutes or so. I took 10 (ok, ok it was 20) extra minutes to lay in bed and rest my eye in the darkness... it was sore and tearing, but I pushed on through my morning routine, showering and getting ready in the dark. As I got in the car, I could barely keep my eyes open because of the light. Thank goodness work is only 5 minutes away, otherwise I don't think I would've made it there safely. Once I got to work I realized work was not going to happen that day. The bright glow of my 27" iMac was painful. Back home I went, hoping my slight injury would heal by noon (see how optimistic I am, always an idealist).

My eye was tearing profusely and was extremely sensitive to light, I knew I had to get to an optometrist. Once there she looked at my eye and saw that I had taken a good chunk out of the organ and just kept saying "Oh, hun." I didn't realize how clearly terrible my injury was. Eight hours after dilation and eyedrops galore, I was still sitting in my dark, dark apartment, unable keep my eyes open for more than a couple seconds at a time (I'm not even making this up!). It was not a productive day.

Fast forward to Thursday morning, the only remnant of my scratch was my hugely dilated left pupil, which left me looking a little crazier than normal... Anyway, I went to a follow-up appointment with my optometrist and she was surprised and a little shocked at how much my eye had healed. But the scary party was when she tested my vision with the chart on the wall, something she didn't even want me to do the day before because of unnecessary strain. And she was, again, overly surprised at how well I could see after one day of recovery. WHAT? Excuse me? I could've (temporarily) damaged my vision? The thing that I hold most precious in this world from one sleepy stretch?

One of my biggest fears in life is losing my vision, it's my livelihood and my passion. Crazy how fragile life and one's body can be, but also, amazing how fast the body can repair itself when necessary. I'm just glad to have my vision fully back and grateful for some perspective.

TV-less

A while ago I tried to give up TV for a week. I failed miserably.

But guess what? I've been living in my new apartment for five weeks and I still haven't purchased an HD antennae (I'm not planning on cable)! I've watched a couple movies and borrowed a season of BBT, but other than that I haven't had TV. And guess what? It's awesome and I'm so much more productive. Before I always used TV as background noise, but it still enticed me into lounging on the sofa more often than I should.

I had every intention of buying an HD antennae, but I'm kind of enjoying it and getting loads done! Now I rely on TED talks, music, NPR, audio books and the occasional movie for background noise. I was considering Netflix, but I want to try other resources first. I've recently posted my entire collection of DVDs (mostly bad chick flicks) to swap.com, and have had one successful trade so far (Under the Tuscan Sun for Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix). My apartment complex offers DVD rentals that I'm hoping to use as well as the Johnson County library. And maybe I'll hit up friends for local DVD swaps, for a little collaborative consumption. Not entirely because I'm cheap, more because I want to give these other resources a try first. Once depleted, Netflix or Redbox may be the way to go for a more current selection.

Eventually I'll get around to the HD antennae (I do want it for news, PBS documentaries, and some sitcoms), but with 15+ fun projects on my TeuxDuex "someday" list, I'm in absolutely no hurry...

RAGBRAI, The Conclusion

I did it! I finished RAGBRAI and dipped my front tire in the Mississippi River! I am unbelievably proud of myself. I went into RAGBRAI telling myself it was ok to walk up most of the hills, catch the sag wagon towards the end of the day, be the slowest person in the group, etc and I was fine with it. But I was so totally wrong. Yes, this girl that threw a tantrum any time I had to participate in any sort of athletic sporting activity as a child, cycled across the state of Iowa.

I gladly used my friend's wedding reception an excuse to not ride the first day. So, I started on the second day, the day with the most climb of all the days - 4719 feet to be exact. And I dominated. I had fresh legs when everyone else was tired from the previous day. I was sprinting up the hills that I was nervous about like a champ, passing many in the process. The first day was by far my favorite, the weather was cool, cloud-covered and beautiful. The rolling hills went far past the road and we were left with the most beautiful, lush landscape with the fog cresting the horizon. I was smitten, completely smitten. This is why I had decided to do RAGBRAI and I was elated that I was riding at an above-average rate, well above my training pace. And I had the huge realization that I can do this.

It wasn't all rainbows and daisies, by the end of the day the sun had come out and the hills were not nearly as fun and I was a exhausted. Days three through five all blur together a little bit with varying emotions: pride, joy, irritation, exhaustion, silliness, delirium, etc. And then finally I took day six off. My entire life I have been pretty sensitive to the sun/heat: heat exhaustion, heat rash, heat stroke, sun migraines, you name it, I've had it. Around day three I developed a ridiculously irritating heat rash on my arms and legs and decided it was best to give them a rest (which conveniently happened to be the longest day on the route). And I wanted to finish strong on day seven, the last day.

And finish strong I did. Six of our team members finished on Saturday, I rode with four of them and led the pack most of the way. I was in the groove in the morning, riding a good 2-3 (or even 8) miles per hour faster than I trained, up hills and cutting through headwinds. It was an amazing experience to feel my training paying off and being able to go that fast and not be completely exhausted. As we rode into Davenport people lined the streets cheering us on as we rode our final 6.6 miles across Iowa. This was amazing, it felt like a real accomplishment to finish.

I got to the dipping station at 2:56 pm, making it our fastest day of the bunch. I'm so happy I did RAGBRAI, definitely have plans to do it again, although next time more pie will be consumed and I want to take the time to enjoy the people and sites of Iowa, not just escaping to the shade in pass-through towns. I want to be able to ride the entire route and even the 100 mile loop, sun and heat cooperating, of course. Although I'm not sure I'm cut out for the whole camping thing...

I had originally decided to track all of the calories I consumed during the week, but I was too exhausted at night to track everything. Instead, here's some estimated stats from the week:
Miles rode: 300-315 (or about 70% of the route)
Feet of Climb: 13,218
Days: 5 (of 7)
Calories Burned: 11,000+
Max Speed: 36 mph
Weight: +4 lbs (It's common for first time RAGBRAI riders to gain weight. The question is, how much is new muscle mass vs consuming too many calories?)
Pieces of Pie consumed: 1 (I am so sad about this stat)
Ears of Corn consumed: 1 (again, deeply saddened by this!)



And props to the awesome team members of TFP (Team Fist Pump):
Will. Paul. Nate. Danny. Loren. Becky. Dan. Jon. Catherine. John.

Major props to Paul and my dear friend, John, who both rode the entire way across Iowa. Paul even added the extra century day. But John was a rockstar, this was his first RAGBRAI as well and he was determined to finish every mile, no one else in our group had that kind of determination. We were all impressed (and a little shocked) that John rode every. single. mile. Congrats, friend!

Calm. Happy. Successful.

Disclaimer: This is a personal reflection post, more intended for myself rather than anyone else.

Calm. Happy. Successful.
This has been my personal mantra for over a year and a half. It started when I was extremely unhappy at work and in my personal life. I sat down and thought about what I wanted the most out of life. I simply wanted to be calm and not sweat the little things or get so worked up about everything; I wanted to happy with my stage in life, although it may not be as I had planned; and I wanted to be successful and achieve my career, educational and personal goals. I posted notes with these three little words at work and at home and whenever I would get super stressed, I would repeat calm, happy, successful to myself over and over again. Sometimes (i.e. when I remembered) I used it as my mantra during yoga classes earlier this year.

This morning I got up early and went on a lovely bike ride and guess what I discovered along the way: I am calm! I am happy! I am successful! I cannot explain it but for the past couple of months I have felt such a sense of inner peace and happiness. When I finally realized that this morning I let out this high-pitched little squeal of delight (there may have even been some enthusiastic clapping). I feel I am finally able to let go of things that bother me and just focus on loving my current station in life. What a great way to start the morning and kick-off to the weekend?